a few nights ago before bed, i looked for mid-century modern furniture on nashville craigslist. that night, i dreamt i found a vintage glass-and-wood cabinet. it had a small tv inside. and a printer that printed everything in pink ink (?). i bought it for $40. the next morning i was suprised at such a quick action-to-dream repsonse.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
forgetting and dreams
last night, a friend and i were talking about r.e.m and he brought up the show at the ryman. i had absolutely no recollection of the concert. i knew i had to have gone, but i remembered nothing of it. then i realized it must've been when my mom was first sick. when i got home, i looked in my bedside drawer and found a journal i had written in around that time. just a few entries, maybe about 8 pages worth. i have a really hard time keeping journals. i write a few pages, and then stop. or i write, and throw it away. what's stopping me? the embarrassment of someone else possibily reading it one day? i don't know. but as i read through these entries, i realized it was probably the one and only time i was ever really open and honest in a journal (not in the "not lying" sense, but you know, honest with yourself). it was the first time i re-read something and did not want throw it in the trash. after she passed, i started a list of things i didn't want to forget about her. i wrote 8 things down. 3 years later, and i am afraid i'm forgetting things about her every day. which brings me back to the r.e.m. show at the ryman. i checked this morning, and the concert was a week after we took my mom to the hospital & received the diagnosis. i really have blocked a lot of stuff in my mind. my memory is not what it used to be. and with those thoughts, i fell asleep.